


Unsavory Magazines

by Bfly1225



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, reverse omens - Fandom
Genre: If you'd like to know more about the AU i'm always open for questions, M/M, Mentions of Sexual Content, Ziraphon modelled for a sex store some time, corviel is a heccin mess, poor corviel, reverse au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 10:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20544890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bfly1225/pseuds/Bfly1225
Summary: His face was red as he flicked through the top one, as if trying to find any half of an excuse as to why they were there, on the top shelf of his closet!The models were certainly attractive, though none his type (he shouldn’t have a type! He was an angel!) though. . . he paused on the full page spread, at the curves of the rather naked person, the pose that screamed attitude, the platinum blonde curly hair with a peekaboo red streak and sunglasses and DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WAS THAT AZIRAPHON?!Now, this required further inspection.





	Unsavory Magazines

**Author's Note:**

> I. . . have no excuse for this one lmao

Corviel was an ANGEL. He was a very good one- not to toot his own horn. He liked to think he was virtuous. Sure, he smoked a little marajuanna, and sure, he’d had a few. . . unsavory daydreams (and nightdreams) about his demon counterpart, but that was no sin, couldn’t be that bad. He’d done opium, and smoked cigarettes, but EVERYONE had done that! If he was to blend in, he would have had to. 

Anyways, he was still a good angel, even if he was almost-kind of-maybe dating a demon. Ziraphon was NOT evil! He hadn’t deserved to fall, Corviel was sure. It had to be God’s divine plan, working out so that Corviel had the love of his life on Earth. He had FAITH in God. But maybe not the whole system. Heaven and hell. . . perhaps not the best business model. 

So imagine his surprise when, on the monthly deep clean (every 5th day of the month!), he found. . . Porn mags? PORN mags??? He stared, disbelieving at the nearly naked women and men on the covers of the older editions, still kept in rather good condition despite the date on the cover and the flimsy paper.

Now, it was like him to have a properly filed and preserved pile of things, but such unsavory magazines. . . ! He didn’t remember ordering them, or buying them, or- how did one even PROCURE such material? He wasn’t even sure! His face was red as he flicked through the top one, as if trying to find any half of an excuse as to why they were there, on the top shelf of his closet! 

The models were certainly attractive, though none his type (he shouldn’t have a type! He was an angel!) though. . . he paused on the full page spread, at the curves of the rather naked person, the pose that screamed attitude, the platinum blonde curly hair with a peekaboo red streak and sunglasses and DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WAS THAT AZIRAPHON?! 

Now, this required further inspection. 

He stared at the image. It was Ziraphon, right? No, it had to be. Definitely, definitely Ziraphon. . . He kept tracing the curves of the printed body, right down to the barely-covered crotch and then snapping his eyes up. It was hardly the time to look at well. . . that. 

Well, he reasoned, plenty of people had probably looked QUITE intently at that image with less pure intentions. And YES, his intentions WERE pure! He needed to know why Ziraphon was in such. . . such. . . such PROMISCUOUS compilations! This was OBVIOUSLY an act to inspire lust in humans to make them sin, so he should look into it so he could. . . could. . . thwart the wiles!!!! Yes, obviously, so he should hold on to these and inspect them. . . at night. . . with the doors locked. He hesitated to close the full page spread, but tore his eyes from the sliver of tongue peaking out from Ziraphon’s traitorusly beautiful lips, and did just that, before realized he was holding a whole STACK of such magazines, presumably all with such. . . inappropriate content. 

He was sure he’d seen a breast. 

But, if Ziraphon was in all of them. . .well, it was his sacred duty to check, now, wasn’t it? To prevent lust from spreading? 

Nevermind for a moment that he was fired, and was no longer working as an angel, and that the magazines had fallen out of circulation YEARS ago, and that there was truly no reason for him to study these magazines, he could think about that later. He slid the magazines under his bed, next to the cigar box that held most of what could be considered his “sexy little secrets” as Ziraphon would call them. 

Not like this was exactly something he’d not want someone to know about, but he’d not NOT want nobody to know. . . oh, well, whatever. 

See, this arrangement worked for several days. Almost a week, and he dragged the magazines back out to. . . examine them. He placed the small stack on the bed and began looking through the images, trying to ignore them and only look for faces- A face. Ziraphon’s face. There was still no excuse for him to be looking through these volumes, but he was pretending the contrary. 

Each picture of Ziraphon he saw was more scandalous than the last as he leafed through, ignoring most of the models in favor of Ziraphon. Collars, lingerie- was that a harness?-, any amount of things. Corviel’s face grewer redder each image he found- How did Ziraphon even FIT into that one??- but he pressed on, until-

“Angel!!” The back door crashed open, Ziraphon on the other side wiht an iced coffee. It. . . it was nighttime, though, and Corviel was confused as to why he wanted CAFFEINE-

OH. Oh no, the magazines. He tried to hide the one in his hands but the pile next to him was impossible to hide. Ziraphon walked over and scooped one up while Corviel was stuttering and trying to hide the pornographic material. 

“WAIT NO DON’T L OOK-” He yelled. 

“Ohh, I modelled for these guys at some point. . .” He flipped to a dogeared page, a teasing smile on his face that faltered slightly at the image. “. . . Oh? Oh, that’s me. Damn, I look good in these. I’d forgotten. . . looks like you thought so too.” He flipped to the second one, a second image of him. “Did you get these because of ME, dear? I’m flattered.”

“No, I- those aren’t- I’m not even sure how they GOT here, I-” He stuttered, hair matching his face in redness. “They were just IN MY CLOSET and I don’t-”

“Ah, so that’s where you hide your porn mags. Mine are just in my apartment somewhere.” Ziraphon nodded. “I think I still have that piece. Looks good on me.” He hummed, closing it. “I could show you some time, of course. If you wanted a closer look.” 

“Aziraphon, PLEASE.” Corviel whined, covering his face. “You are not HELPING.” 

“But you have porn magazines-” He glanced at the pile. “And the one where I’m the full page spread. How am I supposed to just. . . drop that???” 

“I don’t even know how they showed up, they were just in the closet and I don’t understand!” He frowned. “I mean, look wonderful, of course-” 

“Oh, you noticed??” 

“-Shush- but I have no recollection of purchasing them! Leave me be, for goodness’ sake.” 

“Then why read them?” 

“Because you’re in them.” He replied as if this was obvious. At Ziraphon’s shocked face, he launched into his stuttering explanation. “I-I mean you were obviously acting for lust, so I had to- to observe so I could- thwart, you know? I’m an angel, I have to do these things!” 

“. . . Whatever you say, angel.” Ziraphon put his hands up in mock surrender, grinning. 

“You- this is your doing, I’m sure.” The angel pouted. 

“. . . admittedly, maybe.” He giggled, listening to Corviel’s outraged reply with a smile on his face. 

He loved him.


End file.
